Why We Need to Talk with Each Other

Our mind and consciousness work in funny ways. We can

be quick to anger, jealousy, suspicion, fear and

judgment in our interactions with and reactions to

others.

What we own or possess, or how much money we make and

have, or where we live do not have as much of an

influence on our ability to be happy, balanced and at

peace as advertisements and our idea of what life

should be and consist of as we think that it should or

would.

And if we think that we are being criticized in the

slightest way, as an individual, as a corporate body,

or as an ethnic group or religion, we can be quick to

retort in a most unskillful, defensive or aggressive

manner.

We might not even hear the words or see the actions of

another, but just because of our own attachment,

anger, fear and anxiety be reacting in ways that make

things worse or are not appropriate or suitable.

Many times much of our interaction with others may not

be based on respect, patience and understanding, but

based on looking for reasons to ridicule or harass.

Many of us do have problems in life and when we feel

or are isolated or alienated from others, things can

get worse.

We start to follow our own delusional or self –

debilitating thoughts and feelings with no mindfulness

that they have been conditioned into us or whether

they are healthy for ourselves or others.

Recent studies in the field of psychotherapy continue

to confirm what many have always known.

That if we interact with and talk with others with

respect, patience and understanding, many of the

stressful and anxious conditions that we are

experiencing, or the one we are talking with are

experiencing can be alleviated to some degree.

It is not being suggested that we practice

psychotherapy with each other, but just that we better understand the benefits and wisdom in relating to each other verbally in a

 way that promotes harmony between us and insight within us.

If we can bring about such a way of being within

ourselves, and such a state between ourselves, we may

find that there is less of a need for some of those

behavioral tendencies that we have found ourselves

addicted to, such as the habitual use of drugs and

drink, overeating and the use of cigarettes and

coffee.

We may be obsessed with and addicted to even more

disturbing and dangerous ways of living that involve

unhealthy, abusive and violent tendencies.

It has been found that if we can establish a

meaningful, healthy and sharing verbal relationship

with people and share in that way on a regular or

daily basis, the brain chemistry that is unbalanced

can be brought into a more balanced state.

There is nothing amazing about this.

It all starts in the family.

Parents have to listen to children and children have

to listen to each other.

Husband and wife have to listen to each other and

brothers and sister have to listen to each other.

We have to make some sort of effort to bring this kind

of meaningful interaction into our lives.

It requires time, it requires energy, it requires

mindfulness, it requires interest and it requires

compassion.

©2004 John C. Kimbrough

(John lives and teaches in Bangkok, Thailand. He can

be reached at johnckimbrough@yahoo.com)