What Causes Stress - Part 2

As mentioned in Part 1, some of the things that create stress on our lives we have more control over, while some things we are less able to deal with in an effective manner.

An angry, anxious or impatient parent may be less likely to be dealt with in an effective manner then a boss or spouse who also exhibits such behavior and we may be able to get away from.

Sometimes much of our stress is caused by other people and how they act plus the day to day environment in which we live.

These are things that are next to impossible for us to change though we might be able to make a change in our own life that takes us away from them.

So it seems that what we have to do is change ourselves.

Much of our stress is caused by our feelings. Buddhism teaches us that it is the feelings that create the greatest problems, suffering and experience of stress for us, so if we could look at them in a more detached and objective manner, we might be lessening stress in our lives.

Buddhism suggests that in order to achieve such a thing, we study the Buddhist teachings plus meditate on a daily basis.

Another cause of stress is that we many times live in a manner that causes stress, not on the more noticeable ways such as regards diet, sleep and leisure activities but in the more subtle ways as to how we approach others and the world.

What is being put forth here is that we can lessen stress if we live by a moral and ethical code that is designed in such a way as to alleviate suffering.

Both Buddhism and Yoga offer us such a set of morals and ethics that have as their goal, among others, the weakening and alleviation of mental states that can cause stress.

Many of us are reluctant to take a look at what these morals or ethics are or consist of.

We may think that they are not practical to our modern life, or that we are complete, perfect or unique people in our own right already, able to deal with life and stress with little or no help from others or ideas and teachings about how to live better.

In our desire to express our individuality or freedom, we may also look upon such a suggestion that we adopt a set of morals and ethics into our lives as being an impingement or intrusion on our being.

Regardless of how one may react to these morals and ethics, they have been specifically designed to weaken stressful feelings in us and that in itself may mean that they deserve a closer look.

One specific moral and ethical teaching suggests that we attempt to be more non -violent in how we are as people.

Non -violence is not just something that we practice on a physical or behavioral level, but also manifests itself in our thoughts and words.

When we practice non - violence in our thoughts and words we are changing the way that we act to and react to others, thereby bringing about a change on whether stress is built up or stress just flows over and around us.

Non - violence in thought, word and action means that we are less critical and judgmental of others while at the same time being more patient with them and more open to listening to what they think, feel and say.

We are less likely to talk about them or to them in dishonest, harsh, slanderous or gossipy ways.

Our intentions and actions to them face to face are also honest and respectful, built on the idea of good will and harmlessness.

It seems that in all cultures, societies and people, there is an interest in verbally putting down or beating up other people, sometimes because we passionately feel about or are attached to some idea or concept, while at other times we just want to ridicule or hurt another.

If we can be more mindful about how we think, speak and act to others both to their face and behind their back, we may be going a long way to weakening stress in our lives.

2005 John C. Kimbrough

(John lives and teaches in Bangkok, Thailand. He can be reached at johnckimbrough@yahoo.com)