If We Want To Assist Others

It can be a real joy when we find, meet or know that

there are people in this world who build part of or

most of the day and their life around the idea of

assisting and helping others.

It may be in a work related or professional role,

where people are paid for their efforts, or it may be

as a volunteer, or it could be just in one’s attitude

and approach to others.

Sometimes we may be thinking that we are helping

others, when in reality we are being nothing more then judgmental and critical of how they are already, thinking

 or saying that they should do this or that, or be this way or that way. This is not really assisting or helpful to

 others.

In a professional or volunteer role, our duties and responsibilities are frequently clearly spelled out.

But in assisting another on a private or individual

level, what we should say or do is not so clearly

spelled out, and we may inadvertently be giving

feedback, input or advise that can further confuse a

person or situation.

To think that our way or approach to life and a

problem is best for all is not always an accurate or

skilful way to be.

If we want to assist others in a more skillful and

wholesome manner, we should be involved in some effort

to work on ourselves first, and perhaps have been

involved in such an effort for some period of time

also.

Yoga and Buddhist teaching and teachers remind us of

this frequently, telling us that it is through such an

ongoing and consistent effort that we develop the

mindfulness and skills to better understand and assist

another or others.

An important biblical passage also states the same

thing, reminding us to remove the log from our own eye

so that we can see clearly in assisting others to

remove the log from their eye.

If we are individuals who are habitually using drugs

or drink, we certainly have wisdom, insights and

goodness, but may not be able to articulate those

things into a meaningful and helpful way for others.

If we are anxious, fearful and impatient, will we be

able to access those things that we know and have

learned in a way that can guide or direct another?

If we are caught up in ignorant prejudices and biases

and make assumptions based on that ignorance, what can

we really offer others that will give them the

knowledge and mindfulness that they need in order to

see them through a temporary crisis or emotional state

or make changes in their lives that will make them

happier and more focused?

The process and path of working oneself can be a long

and difficult one.

It can result in the reawakening of painful and

confusing memories and experiences or awakening to new realizations which cast a light on the old in ways

 that we may not fully understand or like.

The teachings of Yoga and Buddhism offer us ways that

direct us about how to look at and work on ourselves,

bringing about joyful as well as challenging insights.

The idea is not to be in denial or negative about how

and what we are and have done, but instead to grasp

these experiences with a degree of understanding.

It is this understanding and ongoing development of it

that will lead us to a place where we can assist

others in ways that are helpful for them and also

assist us in our ongoing self - evolvement,

development, reflection and introspection.

©2004 John C. Kimbrough

(John lives and teaches in Bangkok, Thailand. He can

be reached at johnckimbrough@yahoo.com)