If We See It As A Gift

If We See It As A Gift

As pessimistic or as cynical as it might sound, and it

is not meant to sound that way at all, most of what I

have seen in life through my experiences has been

seeing, meeting and interacting people who are not at

ease with their life.

In saying that they were not “at ease", we say that

there was some kind of dissatisfaction, suffering, an emptiness, a chronic fear or anxious state, anger or

some feeling that revolved around looking at themselves in terms of a negative way, what we might term as

being poor self – esteem.

We get to such a state though a variety of ways, some

related to our environment and those around us, and

much of it related to our own ignorance.

Growing up in the west or any other place can be

fraught with many challenges and difficulties.

In wealthier countries, many of those difficulties

have to do with the foolish, ignorant and abusive

actions of others.

We may be bullied or made fun of at school, be

neglected and ridiculed at home, and see the country

and society that we live in as being one based on

greed and selfishness.

In poorer counties these same things can occur, and

they do, but there are the added burdens of living in

a place where corruption is rampant, there are poor

job opportunities, the health and education system may

be lacking in many things, living conditions may be

sub – standard and real poverty is always close at

hand.

This writer had a chance to reflect on all of this

recently when he was told that someone he had met

briefly on a journey to Australia a few years back had committed suicide.

This man was young, nice, good – looking, healthy, had

a good career, money in the bank and property, but

still he thought that whatever he had was not enough.

When we see or hear about these things, we are always

shocked or saddened, though it is not that uncommon.

Sadly, we do not always see our life as being a gift

but instead see it in term of what we do not have or

have not achieved.

When we see life in those terms, we set up greater

burdens and hurdles for us to deal with, and

everything can become more troublesome.

And even if we have a lot of things that we can build

a good life on, how we use our free time is really

what may be the deciding factor.

Some year’s back, while living in Austin, Texas, I

used to go to a club where every night, after work, a

young lawyer spent the evening drinking until he was

drunk.

This use of his free time in this way certainly was

not a way that would lead him to a better

understanding and appreciation of the gifts that he

had.

In our free time, we need to have something that can

take a lot of work, effort, patience and understanding

to get, that being, a happy and satisfying home life.

Sometimes we think that such a life is one where we

have unending sex at home while others see it as

something where we communicate well with our loved

ones and we are all healthy.

If we live alone or are alone at home, we have to work

harder to make ourselves feel comfortable with

ourselves, whether we are a man or a woman.

If we start to see our being alone as a real burden or

think that we are unworthy of the love of another

because of it, we can be heading down the road to a

real problematic existence.

It is easy to say that we should look at life as a

gift, and that should be enough to get us from a

disturbed and depressed state, but that is not

practical.

And life at home for many can consist of a routine

that may not be very healthy.

Many people are spending too much time watching

television during their free time.

And when we turn off the television or DVD player, the aloneness hits us again.

We benefit when we can set some sort of schedule as to

how we are going to use our free time.

Some may criticize this as being too regimented or

lacking spontaneity or even being not enjoyable, but

it does give us a focus for our free time and energy.

Any kind of habitual use of drugs or drinks is

dangerous and debilitating, creating conditions for

mood and energy swings that can make things worse.

If we practice Yoga or Buddhism, they provide us with

ways to use our free time that are very enjoyable and

enhance who and how we are.

Meditation practice can quiet, focus and steady the consciousness, while posture practice can release tension

in the body, give us more energy and can serve as an excellent way to improve our performance in some

other sport or activity, such as swimming, the martial arts or playing basketball, football or baseball.

Perhaps what we need to be mindful about is to use our

free time in ways that are constructive.

If we do that we may be able to think that life is

great and with the feeling and experience, see it as

the gift that it is.

And from that realization, perhaps we will build on it

in ways both as an individual and in our actions with

others that are truly loving, compassionate and

fruitful.

(John lives and teaches in Bangkok, Thailand. He can

be reached at johnckimbrough@yahoo.com)