Awakening to the Imperfections

This writer each week receives E-mails from various

people who have the same story to tell, though the

experiences in the story may differ.

The story revolves around their awakening to their own imperfections and the imperfections of those who have influenced them,

 primarily their parents.

Our parents have had issues and problems to face and

deal with and sometimes we have not been mindful about

this or seen how their own ability or inability to

deal with these things has influenced us until later

in life.

Many of us now are parents and we may be dealing with

or so overwhelmed by issues that we are not mindful

about what our children are experiencing or feeling

and how that will influence their lives in the future,

after we are gone.

It is not a pleasant experience to awaken to our own imperfections or the imperfections of others but it seems to be a necessary

 step in any growing or healing process.

In fact, this pain could just be nothing more then a

calling of the pure soul and spirit within to be

released.

Pain could be thought of as being nothing more then

the amazing grace that forces and life can bestow on

us.

Pain could be thought as being nothing more then the

instigator for making changes in our lives that will

bring us to a new and more mindful, wise and joyful

place.

We seem to be quicker to see the imperfections in

others, many times foolishly demonizing them along the

way.

It is the imperfections within ourselves that are more necessary for us to see and understand and make some kind of effort to

 deal with in a constructive manner.

It can be hard to realize that we have been wrong in

some of our perceptions, thoughts, feelings, words and

actions in our lives.

This is something that we all seem to experience in

life.

Our awakening to the imperfections in ourselves and

others can lead to anger, resentment, sadness, and

frustration.

It can also surprisingly lead to insight, strength and

wisdom.

One of the things that we see so common among people,

cultures and countries is what is commonly referred to

as “denial”.

It means that we do not see clearly what we are

thinking, saying or doing and can not let ourselves be

held to account for it and makes the necessary

changes.

We all seem to want to think of ourselves, our culture

and our country as being perfect or superior.

In some countries and among some people and cultures

this tendency is more common then among others.

Denial is the first thing we have to deal with.

Then we have to act in a manner that deals with the

situation in a way that makes it less intense and

harmful.

Many times this is not the case.

We throw money and pleasure at a problem, but are

seldom able to do the hard work such as changing our

habits as to what we think, feel, say and do.

We feel that when we are experiencing painful

awakenings and experiences, we need to have as much

pleasure as possible, not always seeing that this

could be making things worse.

If we can start to make some kind of meaningful and

skillful effort to deal with our imperfections, we may

discover some things that make the journey worthwhile,

even to the point where we pursue it with interest and enthusiasm.

Certainly, by drawing our energy and attention inward

we will start to be more understanding and

compassionate to the imperfections of others.

That will allow us to interact and respond to them

with greater patience, understanding and compassion.

It is always better to say, “I understand how you

feel” then to judge or yell at someone because of what

or how they feel.

Many have found that eastern philosophies such as Yoga

and Buddhism have helped them awaken to their

imperfections and not look at them with a sense of

shame or guilt, but instead in a manner that creates understanding, acceptance and wisdom.

Many have also found that these philosophies offer

them ways to deal with these imperfections that have

proven to be effective with others and brought them to

a more joyful state of being.

Being mindful of our own imperfections and making a

sincere and constant effort to deal with them can be

joyful and it is better then wallowing in self –

recrimination, anger and hatred, or having others

demonize us and us believe that their is some truth to

their judgment.

©2004 John C. Kimbrough

(John lives and teaches in Bangkok, Thailand. He can

be reached at johnckimbrough@yahoo.com)